Boundaries are beautiful, no matter how difficult it may feel to establish and maintain them.
A boundary is a line in the sand, one that you’re drawing that tells someone how you expect to be treated. If you’re naturally a people pleaser, then you may struggle with boundaries. Up until this point, you may have let people trample all over your personal limits for fear of disappointing or upsetting them. Your boundaries set limits and they give you the freedom to say no when someone makes an unreasonable demand or you’re trying to separate yourself from toxicity.
A boundary should give you a healthy balance between external demands and personal needs.
The Importance of Boundaries
You can’t live a healthy life without setting boundaries. They are key to establishing healthy relationships and will perform an important part in avoiding burnout. Boundaries protect mental health and improve well-being.
Without setting boundaries, you may feel stressed out or overwhelmed. So, by setting boundaries you can prioritize your needs and protect your time and energy. They communicate what you deem unacceptable (or acceptable), and you can do that assertively.
Boundaries protect your mental health and improve your well-being. They can improve your relationships by allowing you to set limits and expectations. They can also help you avoid exhaustion and burnout. Boundaries are self-esteem enhancing and nurture self-respect. Maintaining your boundaries can improve your communication skills as you learn to express your needs. It gives you more autonomy and encourages personal growth.
Boundaries Examples
A boundary could be something that you do in a bid to protect yourself, which would include blocking someone on social media or their phone number if they persistently cross your boundaries after you have already established them.
It could also be asking someone to treat you a specific way, like speaking calmly rather than shouting during discussions.
Individual boundaries look different for most people – it could be saying no to a social event because you’re too tired, don’t want to go, or simply don’t have time. It could also be avoiding commitments that don’t align with your core values or saying no to optional events where the people drain your energy.
Career-wise, you can say no to extra hours or responding to emails during your personal time. You don’t have to go along with unreasonable requests or tasks that infringe on your personal life.
You deserve to have time for the activities you love, the people you enjoy, and self-care that nurtures your soul. Boundaries are a big part of the balance.
You can set boundaries around your time and personal space, morals and ethics, emotional energy, finances, material possessions, social media, and sexuality.
Healthy Boundaries
If you’re already a people pleaser, then setting boundaries is going to be an even bigger challenge. That doesn’t make it impossible, it just means you will need patience to maintain those boundaries when you’ve established them. So, be prepared to clearly and assertively communicate these changes with the necessary people.
If you have healthy boundaries, you won’t feel guilty about saying no to people, you won’t let other people take advantage of you or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. You won’t get offended when someone else sets a boundary with you and you can accept criticism without taking it personally. You’re responsible for your emotions, you manage your triggers, and you recognize you’re responsible for you only, not other people’s reactions.
Without healthy boundaries, you run the risk of damaging your mental health because you are likely to be stressed out, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Letting people take advantage of your good nature puts you at risk for physical and emotional health problems and it can also damage your ability to communicate moving forward.
Expressing your wants and needs is a good thing if you’re doing it properly. You can prioritize your health and happiness, and the way to do that is by setting boundaries.
Setting boundaries for better mental health is a powerful way to take control of yourself and your life. At Gaia Counselling, we are dedicated to providing a safe space where you can express your feelings and work through your challenges without fear of judgment. Whether you need support for yourself or want to learn how to better support others, we’re here to help. Book a session today or reach out to learn more about our holistic approach to mental wellness.
